As Mums, there are so many decisions to be made about how we parent and nurture our little ones. Then there are all the fantastic Dads out there that have a huge part in those decisions too. But for many Mums, like myself, we have to make many choices in the very early months & years of our children’s lives, down to how we want to give birth to our babies and then how we feed them. It interests me what strikes a chord with each one of us and makes us say yes? Yes, that’s how I want to mother my babies, that’s how I want them to be nurtured and learn how the world works.
I feel like I made my choices partly based on the way the women in the past in my own family brought their children up and how I’ve come to make my own mind up that au natural works for me. It got me thinking about a friend who told me she had ALL the drugs during her three children’s births and relished it! It’s clear we certainly are all different!
I decided to write this list about some of the choices I say ‘oui’ or ‘yes’ too, as partly a way to delve into my own way of thinking and ask what makes me the mother I am…
- I am a Mother, but I’m also myself –My life hasn’t come to an almighty halt. I still adult, child free from time to time but at the same time I don’t live in grief for the life I had before children as my kids come along for the ride and we have a new kind of fun that is more enriching than ever before!
- Motherhood is totally personal – I don’t always take everything I hear as gospel from others about the way they raise their kids and this includes what is written in books. Motherhood is totally personal, what works for one Mum isn’t necessarily right for another. But I am always open to advice as its so good to talk, try things out and get perspective.
- Unite with Mothers – I may quietly not take everything that’s said from others as gospel, but one thing is for sure I totally respect their decisions! Motherhood is one of the toughest job there is and I love the positive message our children get by us grown-ups coming together.Bottle fed, breast-fed, attachment parenting to the strictest routines, we do what’s best for our own!
- Baby led – For me personally I am totally down with child led parenting. I follow their natural ques rather than fit them into my schedule.
- I can never give too many hugs and kisses – If my child needs a hug I will be always there to give one anytime, any place. Cry it out just didn’t feel right for us. I know it works for some though and kudos to those Mamas as I imagine it takes strength and will power!
- Mindful Mama – Taking a long deep breath and putting myself in my kids shoes, seeing the world from their eyes really helps to give me insight into how they may be thinking and feeling at any given time. I find this particularly helpful with tears and tantrums!
- Letting them choose – I’m the only vegetarian in our house. Dad is a meat eater. But my kids can make up their own mind as they grow up. ( Ok I give them as many veggies as I can possible stick on their plates to try to sway them, but the choice is truly theirs..honest)
- Gender equality – This is a tough one as its so easy to fall into the girls wear pink, boys wear blue stereotypes but I was once told that this is a mans world and it had me feeling rather annoyed. This is a people’s world! If my girls want to be a football kit wearing, Barbie mad, monster truck fanatic one day and the next day wear bright pink florals while playing with dinosaurs and asking endless questions about volcanoes that’s fine by me!
- Let them run wild and scuff their knees – Go children, Climb trees, make mud pies, be in nature, make memories!
- It’s ok to be realistic I’m not always going to tell my kids that every thing they do is right! Sometimes a gentle reality check is needed when things happen. They are growing up in a tough old world after all. This is also goes from the age-old question of ‘how does the baby get out of there?’. The stork definitely didn’t bring Frankie to our house…
- Acceptance – I’ve accepted that my house will never be fully tidy. My face will bare one new wrinkle on a monthly basis from lack of sleep and there are truly no hard and fast rules to parenting. Keeping them fed, clothed, happy and loved is 90% of the task!
- If all else fails – Wine. I will always be a ‘Oui Mama’ to a glass of wine!
So there you go Mamas, just some of my ‘yeses’ of mothering! Now who’s saying oui to a glass of the old vino because we certainly deserve it!